1 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:08,400 So did you hear our great leader this week? 2 00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:11,520 Yeah, the people's champion,he's calling himself now. 3 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,840 And what's the first thing he decides to do? 4 00:00:13,960 --> 00:00:17,680 Oh, that's right, commissiona giant statue of himself 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,040 riding a golden horse. 6 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,880 [laughter] 7 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,960 Because that's exactly what thepeople have been asking for, 8 00:00:24,080 --> 00:00:25,600 isn't it?It's like he can read our minds. 9 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:26,480 [laughter] 10 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:27,760 That is excellent. 11 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,760 Is it? 12 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:30,080 It's just talking. 13 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,160 It's far more than just talking, Grumio. 14 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:33,280 This is great satire. 15 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,240 And let's face it, who needs food 16 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,040 or affordable housing whenthere's a giant man on a horse 17 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:38,960 to look at? 18 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:39,840 [laughter] 19 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,080 What do you reckon? 20 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:42,480 Yeah, I would. 21 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,480 No, I'm asking if you think she's any good, 22 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:45,640 you bloody caveman. 23 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:46,560 Oh, I don't know. 24 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,160 I've not been listening. 25 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,640 I'm not a big fan of horseracing at the best of times, 26 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:50,800 but at least, those ones move. 27 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,480 [laughter] 28 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,760 Sod this, there's a guyaround the corner who can bend 29 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,480 this knob into funny shapes. 30 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,160 Off you go then, sounds about your level. 31 00:00:58,280 --> 00:00:59,600 [laughter] 32 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,840 Eh, I think that mightbe my level too, actually. 33 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,040 [laughter] - What? 34 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:03,480 [MUSIC - OLI JULIAN, "WHEN IN ROME"] 35 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:08,040 Yeah, When in Rome, do as the Romans do. 36 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:16,800 Far from home, all I got is you. 37 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,520 Oh, thank you so much forcoming, glad you enjoyed it. 38 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:20,640 Bye bye. 39 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,360 Hey, Minerva, that was amazing. 40 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:24,360 Oh, that's so sweet. 41 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:25,560 Thank you for coming. 42 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:26,760 Can I ask, would you ever consider 43 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,400 playing a more intimate venue? 44 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,680 Oh, it's not your bedroom,is it, you bloody pervert? 45 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,120 [laughs] No, not that intimate. 46 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,320 It's the Crown and Toga on the Aventine. 47 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,240 Oh, yeah, would there befree booze involved perchance? 48 00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,440 Absolutely. 49 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:41,960 And potentially, even some nuts.- Oh! 50 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:42,880 [laughter] 51 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,560 I'm Marcus, the owner. 52 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,560 Well, Marcus, the owner, maybeI'll come by and check it out. 53 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,920 [music playing] 54 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,040 Yes, I love it, a cabaret night. 55 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,400 But we should put a lineup together. 56 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,600 Who said anything about a cabaret night? 57 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,040 It's just Minerva. 58 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:58,960 No, that will look budgetif we just have one act. 59 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,040 We want variety. 60 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:01,200 We should get the dick guy. 61 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,440 They were proper talented. 62 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:03,760 Mhm, he made his cock and balls look 63 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,320 exactly like a beef burger. 64 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:06,280 I had to look away. 65 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,640 They were making me peckish. 66 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,600 Right, well, I'mvetoing that immediately. 67 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,040 But if we are having otheracts, they've got to be classy. 68 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,000 Well, if you want any musical interludes, 69 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:15,120 I'd be happy to oblige. 70 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,160 I don't know if I've mentioned it. 71 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:17,640 But I'm a concert-level lutist. 72 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,000 Yes, you mention it at least three times now. 73 00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,480 Oh, oh, we're forming a house band. 74 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,360 You on the lute, me on the flute. 75 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,240 Flute? 76 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:26,200 You're a flutist, are you? 77 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,360 Big time. 78 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:28,960 I mean, I'm not concert-level exactly. 79 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,280 But back in junior school,I used to shred that thing. 80 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:34,360 I was like, bah ba bah ba bah, all day long. 81 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,280 Hmm, I think I'd rather play solo. 82 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,920 Well, you can do itsomewhere else then, mate. 83 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,400 If you want to play the mainstage 84 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,160 for the Crown and Toga ,you need management say so. 85 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:43,080 Well, he has my say so. 86 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,200 Uh! 87 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:45,320 Well, I say we do the band idea. 88 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,320 Oh, so, Grumio, it's down to you. 89 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:50,400 Solo lute bullshit or mega awesome house band? 90 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:52,000 I'm above it. 91 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,440 OK, well, what if I saidyou could also be in the band. 92 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,360 Yeah, I'd go on then. 93 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,400 Sweet! 94 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,440 Motion passed, house band. 95 00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:58,800 [claps] 96 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,200 Fine, but I wantcomplete artistic control. 97 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'mgoing to dig out my flute, 98 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:03,920 blow out some banging tunes. 99 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,240 [mimics playing] 100 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,720 [music playing] 101 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,600 Well, just man the door,provide a bit better security. 102 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:12,920 That kind of thing. 103 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,600 What, you're expecting a feisty crowd then? 104 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,240 Any crowd would be a novelty, really. 105 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,960 Tell you what, I could dragany troublemakers up on stage, 106 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:20,440 slap them about a bit. 107 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,560 I could be funny or sad, depending 108 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:23,560 on what you're in too. 109 00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:24,920 Very kind. 110 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,280 But I think we'll stick with music and satire. 111 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:27,760 Suit yourself. 112 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:29,800 Wow, you didn't tell me it was a toilet. 113 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,080 - Sorry. - [laughs] 114 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,120 I didn't want to put you off. 115 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:34,120 Huh, no, it's fine. 116 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,240 What better inspiration forthe state of Roman politics. 117 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:37,160 Ha! 118 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,600 Exactly. 119 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,160 And if people want topiss themselves laughing, 120 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:41,320 we're covered, so. 121 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,160 [laughs] Let me test the acoustics. 122 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:46,560 Oh, hello, ladies and gents,are you shitting comfortably? 123 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:47,720 [laughs] 124 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:49,680 So what do you reckon? 125 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,720 I mean, it's quite toilety. 126 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,000 But then the owner's cute. 127 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,560 And he's giving me free drinks. 128 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,960 So fuck it, let's go for it. 129 00:03:58,080 --> 00:03:58,880 [claps] Yes! 130 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,840 [music playing] 131 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,360 [inhales] Your turn. 132 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:14,240 OK. 133 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,600 [clears throat] 134 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:20,480 [blowing flute] 135 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,400 Sorry, is that "How Happy is the Shepherd?" 136 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:26,600 Yeah, good spot. 137 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:27,680 I'm a bit rusty. 138 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:28,560 That's a kiddies' song. 139 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,920 Yeah, I know. 140 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:31,080 I've got a gold star for playing it in assembly. 141 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:32,640 Well, what else can you play? 142 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,360 No, that's-- that's it. 143 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,240 But like, you know, in a band,everyone brings something 144 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,520 different, don't they? You bring the music. 145 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:39,040 I could bring the swagger. 146 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:40,400 - Oh, yeah, so what do I bring?- Yeah, I don't know. 147 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,720 You can bring the drinks or something. 148 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,120 - [laughs] - Piss off! 149 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,920 You won't even have thisband if it weren't for me. 150 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:45,800 Give me something proper. 151 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,160 All right, fine. 152 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,120 I guess any old man can play the drums, right? 153 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,320 Yeah, cool, I'll bang somepots and pans together then. 154 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:53,960 [clattering] - Hmm, uh. 155 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:54,960 [banging] 156 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,520 No, no, no, stop it. 157 00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:57,960 That's-- stop it, stop it, stop it, stop. 158 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,960 That's a bit horrid. 159 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,920 Let's look for something less intrusive, I think. 160 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:02,800 Oh. 161 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,040 [rattling] 162 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,200 Yeah, give them a little shake, maybe. 163 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,120 A jar of beans, are you kidding me? 164 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,280 I look like a rightpillock up on stage shaking 165 00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,680 a jar of beans, won't I? 166 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,320 It's fine, no one'seven going to notice you. 167 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:14,080 They'll be too busy looking at the frontman. 168 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,160 Oh, whoa, the lute guy should be the frontman. 169 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,640 Uh, the hot guy should be the frontman. 170 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,200 Right, and you'll wantfirst dibs on the groupies, 171 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:20,400 I presume? 172 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:21,520 JASON: Frontman's prerogative, mate. 173 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:22,040 AURELIUS: You're not the frontman. 174 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,040 [laughs] 175 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,240 Uh, is the pontifex a pagan? 176 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:25,240 [laughter] 177 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:26,200 [wine pouring] 178 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:27,160 Oh, No! 179 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,080 Dumb jug. 180 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:29,160 [laughs] 181 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,080 Every time this happens. 182 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,360 Bonkers, isn't it? 183 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,440 It's like we're one of the most advanced 184 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,000 civilizations in history. 185 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,160 We can invent the aqueductand conquer half the world. 186 00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:37,920 And we can't make a jug that pours properly. 187 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:38,960 [laughs] 188 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:39,880 What's with that? [chuckles] 189 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:40,800 Brilliant. 190 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:42,000 How do you do that? 191 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,160 What? 192 00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,240 Just sort of satirize everything. 193 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:45,760 I don't know. 194 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,800 I guess, I just observe stuffand then give it a spin. 195 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,160 Go on then, do another one. 196 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,640 Uh, OK, uh, have you ever noticed 197 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,320 that, when two people fancy each other 198 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:57,840 and are scared to fess up, they get pissed 199 00:05:57,960 --> 00:05:58,960 and make a joke out of it? 200 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,320 [laughs] Yeah, I have, actually. 201 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,040 [music playing] 202 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,160 That is classic satire. 203 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,080 [laughter] 204 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,400 [music playing] 205 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,800 It was incredible. 206 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,320 We ended up having sex four times. 207 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,920 Yes, brother, you're a machine. 208 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,200 Four times might be myrecord for an entire year, 209 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,880 let alone one evening. 210 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,920 Mate, I'm going to be breakingsome sexual records of my own 211 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,520 when Cerberus get on stage. 212 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:26,640 Hang on, Cerberus, sincewhen is the band called that? 213 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:28,760 Right, so me and Aureliuscame up with it yesterday. 214 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,400 Because Cerberus is like this three-headed dog 215 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,600 that guards the underworld. 216 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:32,680 And there's three of us, so. 217 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,560 No, I don't-- 218 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:35,360 I don't feel like it. 219 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,880 All right, what would you wantto call the band, grumpy pants? 220 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,320 I've always liked the word gonad. 221 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,360 OK, and do you know what it means? 222 00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,800 It's like a fruit or something. 223 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,600 It's like a shit namefor a band is what it is. 224 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,440 Look, you might not like it now. 225 00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,960 But one day in the future, you're 226 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,600 going to have to tell your grandkids 227 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,600 that Grandpa Grumio was in theoriginal lineup of Cerberus. 228 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,800 And it's going to blow their tiny minds. 229 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:56,280 [blowing flute] 230 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,760 [rattling] 231 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:00,120 [music playing] 232 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:01,040 Check. 233 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:02,320 [music playing] 234 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:04,280 Check, check, 1, 2. 235 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:05,720 [blowing flute] 236 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,320 Look, one at a time. I haven't finished. 237 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:08,240 [sighs] 238 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,080 [music playing] 239 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,040 Gloria! 240 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,760 Hey, thanks for coming down. 241 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,120 Well, I heard Minerva was on. 242 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,720 So I thought I'd brave the smell. 243 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:16,960 I'm a bit of a fan. 244 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,240 Me too. 245 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,560 As it happens, we've just started dating. 246 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,680 So I sort of have to be, really. 247 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:23,760 You're dating Minerva? 248 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:24,680 Hmm. 249 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,360 Wow! 250 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,920 I have to say, I've just losta teeny bit of respect for her. 251 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,960 But I've gained a bit for you. 252 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:32,160 OK, I'll take that. 253 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,960 [music playing] 254 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,840 [chatter] 255 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,240 So hey, and welcome to theCrown and Toga's first cabaret 256 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,160 night. 257 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,680 Woo, welcome, ever-- 258 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:45,000 We are your house band,Cerberus, the three-headed dog. 259 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,320 Guardian of the gates of-- 260 00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,840 [barks] [howls] 261 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,160 [barks weakly] 262 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,480 Woof. 263 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,920 Joining me on stage is Aurelius on the lute. 264 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:53,960 I can introduce myself. 265 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,360 And Grumio on beans. 266 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,920 [rattling] 267 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:58,920 And puffing out that sweet,sweet music on the flute-- 268 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:01,560 [SINGING] it's old sugar lips himself-- 269 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,160 your very own Jason. 270 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,440 [chatter] 271 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:05,400 3, 4. 272 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:06,320 Oh. 273 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,840 [music playing] 274 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:12,760 [rattling] 275 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,200 [music playing] 276 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,160 [rattling] 277 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:18,360 [music playing] [rattling] 278 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:19,680 [music playing] 279 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,040 Oh, these Bozos are ruining it, ain't they? 280 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,880 I've heard angrier verucas. 281 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,880 Yeah, I don't think Minerva'ssatire crowd are that feisty. 282 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:26,800 Sorry, what? 283 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,160 Minerva? 284 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,520 Did no one to tell you that women aren't funny. 285 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,040 That is not true and very sexist. 286 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,440 Uh, I suppose if she bombs, she 287 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:35,800 can always take her kit off. 288 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,280 And that's even worse. 289 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:39,160 I wouldn't object, though,because she's quite fit. 290 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:40,720 - Uh, do you reckon? - Hmm. 291 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:42,640 Because we've actually juststarted seeing each other. 292 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:43,800 Aah, nice one. 293 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,200 [blowing flute] [fists bumping] 294 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:46,200 Cheers, man. 295 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:49,160 [flute and lute playing] 296 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:52,840 [rattling] 297 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,760 [FLUTE AND LUTE CONTINUES PLAYING] 298 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,640 [groans] 299 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:56,720 [flute and lute playing] 300 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:57,920 [groans] 301 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,120 [FLUTE AND LUTE PLAYING INTENSIFIES] 302 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,600 [rattling] 303 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,120 [flute and lute playing fades] 304 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:06,640 Uugh! 305 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,520 We give you Minerva. 306 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,920 [crowd cheering] 307 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,360 All right, hello. 308 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,680 [laughs] So if it's OK with you, I'd 309 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:20,320 like to start off bytalking about relationships 310 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:23,800 because I have actually just started a new one. 311 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,360 Oh, yeah, thank you. 312 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,560 Do you know what, we're still at that stage 313 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,640 where we're trying to make agood impression on each other. 314 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,400 You know how it is, wearingyour best loincloth. 315 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,640 [laughter] 316 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,080 Only getting naked when the lights are 317 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:35,880 dimmed, brushing your teeth. 318 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:36,920 You know the score. 319 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:38,480 And having loads of sex. 320 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:39,400 [crowd whistling] 321 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,160 Loads of sex. 322 00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:44,680 Because like last night we hadsex four times, four times. 323 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:45,560 [crowd gasping] 324 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,840 [laughs] 325 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,000 Because men think more is better, right? 326 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,160 [crowd cheering] 327 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,360 I would've been happy with one time. 328 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:52,240 [laughter] 329 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,840 One good one. 330 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,240 One full meal rather thanfour little bowls of nibbles. 331 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,160 [laughter] 332 00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:59,000 Because I'm quite lazy. 333 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,360 And I would have liked to have gone 334 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,000 to sleep after the first time instead of having 335 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:04,800 some guy pounding away on top of me 336 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:06,080 like he's trying to dig a well. 337 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,720 [laughter] 338 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,880 I think he thinks if I havea sore vagina in the morning, 339 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,960 then he can't possibly have a small penis. 340 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,840 Well, I've had the same feelingafter a yeast infection. 341 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:16,760 And that was invisible. 342 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,000 So, you know-- 343 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:18,920 [laughter] 344 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,760 [music playing] 345 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,280 I'll take it back, women are funny. 346 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,200 [laughter] 347 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,080 [music playing] 348 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,360 On the plus side, thecabaret night was a hit, right? 349 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,920 Oh, yeah, a massive hit. 350 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,960 The number of people payingto laugh at my shortcomings 351 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:34,280 was huge. 352 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,520 We made more money last night than the rest 353 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:36,880 of the month combined. 354 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,320 - So we should do it again then.- I don't know. 355 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,480 I don't think my ego could take it. 356 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,120 Look, just have a chat with Minerva 357 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:42,720 and ask her to leave you alone. 358 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,360 Go back to digging out theemperor or whatever she does. 359 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,120 Yeah, maybe she can pick on his penis. 360 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,320 [laughter] 361 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,040 Cerberus need another crack at this. 362 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,840 Last night was a shit show. 363 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,360 Well, it might help if youall played the same song. 364 00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,400 I'm not talking about the music. 365 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,440 I didn't get to dust a single groupie. 366 00:10:57,560 --> 00:11:00,600 Of course, I forgot whata house band was therefore. 367 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,240 It must be the costumes. 368 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:04,040 Well, I'm going to call a bandmeeting and thrash this out. 369 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:04,920 Morning. 370 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,640 Grumio, band meeting. 371 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:09,320 Sure, after me and Pris have had our brekkie. 372 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,560 You and-- 373 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:12,440 Priscilla, everyone calls me Pris. 374 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:13,320 [laughs] 375 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:14,880 Where you at the gig? 376 00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,720 Oh, yeah, best night of my life. 377 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,640 [music playing] 378 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,840 You do realize I'm the frontman? 379 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:21,760 [music playing] 380 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:22,720 Oh. 381 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:23,640 [laughs] 382 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,360 [music playing] 383 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,840 We need to do more toconnect with our audience 384 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,320 during and, crucially, after the gig. 385 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,240 Completely. 386 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,800 Couldn't agree more. 387 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,040 So if anyone has any ideas,well, maybe I'm starting-- 388 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,000 Yeah, I've got a few. 389 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:37,360 Sorry, who is this, please? 390 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:38,680 Uh, her name is Priscilla. 391 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:41,000 And she's Grumio's girlfriend, is it? 392 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:42,800 We prefer not to put a label on it. 393 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:46,760 Yeah, I'm somewherebetween a muse and a manager. 394 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,440 Right, and does the bean-shaker 395 00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:49,560 definitely need one of them? 396 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:50,800 - It does actually, yeah.- Hmm. 397 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,120 Even so, I don't think she needs 398 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:53,240 to be at the band meeting. 399 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:54,480 Where I go, she goes. 400 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,120 That's the deal. 401 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:57,600 And you want to listen to herbecause she knows her shit. 402 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:58,760 Does she now? 403 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,240 And what instrument does she play? 404 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,320 I play thisinstrument, yeah, my gut. 405 00:12:04,440 --> 00:12:07,160 And it's telling me yourpotential is going to waste. 406 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:11,320 You could be so much better, cooler, sexier. 407 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,280 I promise. 408 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,240 She's right, boys. 409 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,040 We really could. 410 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:16,160 All right, fine. 411 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,680 She can stay if she makes us sexy. 412 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,920 [music playing] 413 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,560 [chatter] 414 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:23,680 MINERVA: Oh god, they're building 415 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:25,120 another temple to Jupiter. 416 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,560 Do you think even Jupiter is like, oh, 417 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,920 come on, guys, give it a rest? it's 418 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:28,880 starting to look a bit needy? 419 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,160 [laughs] That's funny. 420 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,360 You're funny. - [laughs] 421 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,520 Last night was funny. 422 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:34,240 Oh, yeah, did you enjoy yourself? 423 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:35,640 Loved it, yeah. 424 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:38,200 I mean, the stuff about mewas a bit of a surprise. 425 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,080 I was wondering whetheryou're going to bring that up. 426 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,600 And, you know, a wee bit personal. 427 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:43,960 [laughs] You know, it wasn't really about you. 428 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,440 Wasn't it? 429 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:46,880 Is there someone else you'verecently started seeing? 430 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:49,920 No, well, it was justlike a comic exaggeration. 431 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,400 That's how satire works. 432 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:52,480 I observe something. 433 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,080 And then I give it a spin. 434 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,840 In that case, couldn't youhave spun me a large penis? 435 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,680 No, because thatwouldn't have been funny. 436 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,320 I don't get that. 437 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,440 But next time, I prefer it ifyou observe something else. 438 00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:05,160 Oh! 439 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:06,720 Are you censoring me now? 440 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,400 like some big woman-hating patriarch? 441 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,000 What do you want to do? 442 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,360 Cut out my tongue and justuse me for breeding purposes, 443 00:13:11,480 --> 00:13:12,280 is that it? 444 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,640 No, I don't want that. 445 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,760 Because I can always stop gigging at your bar 446 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:15,640 if you're uncomfortable. 447 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:16,920 No, uh, uh, I am-- 448 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,080 I'm comfortable. 449 00:13:18,200 --> 00:13:20,240 [laughs] Sorry, I'm being an idiot. 450 00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:21,280 Yes, you are. 451 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,160 Come on. 452 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,880 [music playing] 453 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,320 This does not feel sexier. 454 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:27,960 I think it's a huge improvement. 455 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,560 You're a decent lutist. 456 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:32,080 But there's something aboutyou that's a bit nauseating. 457 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:33,240 Maybe it's the beard. 458 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,280 Well, we can shave the beard. 459 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,600 But it could be the face. 460 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,160 So I'll grow more beard. 461 00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,440 Just keep facing the wall, I reckon. 462 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,760 And let's shuffle Grumio further forward. 463 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:42,920 Don't mind if I do. 464 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,040 Well, hang on. 465 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,160 No, he-- he can't go ahead of me. 466 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,040 I'm the frontman. 467 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,640 No you're not. 468 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,720 You're just a vain sleazeusing a stage to pick up girls. 469 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,240 And? 470 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,200 Grumio's the only one offeringsomething original here. 471 00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:54,760 He's the one with star quality. 472 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,320 And star quantity. 473 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,200 He's kind of carrying you two. 474 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,600 Yeah, and it's exhausting. 475 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,480 So with that in mind, we want to change 476 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,520 the name of the band and all. 477 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:03,440 Ugh, to what? Gonad? 478 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:04,400 [scoffs] 479 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,920 No, Grumio and the Gonads. 480 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,400 No way, I'm not standing for that. 481 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:09,480 I think it's genius. 482 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,000 No, we're not your gonads. 483 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:13,880 Well, if you don't likeit, he can always go solo. 484 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,200 Well, just jiggling your beans and bumping about. 485 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,480 Good luck with that. 486 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,000 I guess that's your answer. 487 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,320 Come on then, Pris. 488 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,000 You and me are going to conquer the world. 489 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,360 [music playing] 490 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,920 Well, I'm going tostop facing the wall now. 491 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,200 [music playing] 492 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,400 What's wrong? 493 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:36,760 Sorry, I'm just a bit tense. 494 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:39,000 So relax then, mm-hmm. 495 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,040 Mm-hmm, just a little bit worried that 496 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,120 my performance here might make its way 497 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:45,160 into your performance later. 498 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:46,160 [laughter] 499 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,280 Oh, Marcus, don't be paranoid. 500 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:51,280 [groans] I mean, it'snot that paranoid, is it? 501 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,200 There is a precedent. 502 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:53,080 Oh, shush. 503 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:54,800 [snickers] 504 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:56,640 [moans] 505 00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:58,920 Hmm, maybe let's get some lunch. 506 00:14:59,040 --> 00:14:59,920 I really fancy some lunch. 507 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:03,120 [music playing] 508 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,480 [sighs] 509 00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,400 You're not nauseating, you know. 510 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:10,600 Thanks, man. 511 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:12,840 And you're not a vain sleaze. 512 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:13,960 She was a meanie, wasn't she? 513 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:14,880 [clattering] 514 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,200 A massive meanie. 515 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,400 Hey, you know what would teach her a lesson? 516 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,560 If we reformed the band asa mega successful folk duo. 517 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,000 Yeah, that's learn her. 518 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,160 The lute and the flute in perfect harmony. 519 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,160 Yes, we can't be called Cerberus though. 520 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,320 There's only two of us now. 521 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,240 OK, so how about Gemini, the twins? 522 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,720 Love it, nonidentical, obvs. 523 00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,760 Yeah, yeah, and this time, neither of us 524 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:35,800 will be the frontman. 525 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:37,360 Or we can both be the frontman. 526 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,680 Well, how will we divide the groupies? 527 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:39,600 Well, I don't know. 528 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:40,560 Just let them decide. 529 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:41,880 Oh, yeah, very modern. 530 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,200 Oh, this is epic. 531 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,840 We're getting on such a journey together. 532 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,080 Here, ugh! 533 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,400 Oh! Whoa! 534 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:48,520 Whoa! What is that? 535 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:49,480 What the fuck are you doing? 536 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:50,680 We're broing down. 537 00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:51,560 Now, you do the same. 538 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,480 And we mix it together. 539 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:53,720 No, that's insane. 540 00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:55,160 Why didn't you run it by me first. 541 00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:56,520 I don't know. I got carried away. 542 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:58,880 [groans] Oh, shit, that stings. 543 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,960 [groans] I think I got some lime in it. 544 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,680 [grunts] - What happened to him? 545 00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:03,640 Ah, don't worry about him. 546 00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,240 He's just a tortured artist. 547 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,280 How did it go with Minerva? 548 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,280 Not brilliant. 549 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,480 She accused me of hating women. 550 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,960 And then I couldn't get an erection. 551 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:11,400 Because you hate women? 552 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:13,360 No, because I hate beingthe object of satire. 553 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:15,200 Oh, yeah, but we're stilldoing the cabaret night, 554 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:16,120 though, yeah? 555 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,360 Uh, yes, obviously. 556 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:19,920 In a fight between money and self-respect, 557 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:21,840 it appears that money always wins. 558 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,480 But depending how it goes down, I might need 559 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,240 a little favor from Cerberus. 560 00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,800 Yeah, sure, whatever you need, brother. 561 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,480 We're actually called Gemini now. 562 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:30,360 [grunts] 563 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:31,280 [SINGING] Shake it. 564 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,240 [rattling] 565 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,680 Shake it up now. 566 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,480 And the shaky, shaky manwith my shaky, shaky can. 567 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:37,760 I'm going to shake it real good. 568 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:39,600 Huge news, Grumio. 569 00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:41,520 I've got you your first solo gig. 570 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,840 Magic, what, at the Arena? 571 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,400 Uh, not quite, no. 572 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:47,520 So it's actually a birthdayparty, my dad's 50th. 573 00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,120 Oh, right, sweet. 574 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,560 I know it sounds a bit lamo. 575 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,600 But some of his pals arelike super well-connected. 576 00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:55,360 So this could be your big break. 577 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:56,920 Oh, let me know if there's anything 578 00:16:57,040 --> 00:17:00,200 you need, like food, drinks,costumes, props, anything. 579 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,280 Well, I suppose I could do with some drumsticks. 580 00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,200 OK, yeah. 581 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,440 So wood or metal? 582 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:06,880 Chicken ones and turkey ones. 583 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,440 And apples, red not green. 584 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:09,800 And grapes, green not red. 585 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,080 And actually, you should jot this down. 586 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:12,000 Yeah, right. 587 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,160 [music playing] 588 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,040 [chatter] 589 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,880 [music playing] 590 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,160 Yeah, and what? [music playing] 591 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,080 [screams] 592 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,320 [music playing] 593 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:26,560 What was that about? 594 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,920 I'm trying to get a rise out this lot. 595 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,280 I'm not paying you to get a rise out of them. 596 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:31,640 You're supposed to be security. 597 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,240 You need more security in a graveyard, mate. 598 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,160 I might as well be at thebar getting shitfaced. 599 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:36,520 Be my guest. 600 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,960 But in that case, I'm not paying you at all. 601 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,480 Security is canceled, OK? 602 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,760 [groans] 603 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,600 Oh, my-- sorry. 604 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,680 Hey, hey, hey, you look gorgeous. 605 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:47,920 Oh, stop it, go on. 606 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,080 [snickers] Yeah, I got some new sandals. 607 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,000 Why can't Romans makes shoesthat cover the whole foot? 608 00:17:52,120 --> 00:17:53,240 It's like they've run out of material 609 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,160 for the bits in between. 610 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,600 [laughs] That is-- 611 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:56,960 well, you certainly haven'trun out of material. 612 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:57,960 [laughter] 613 00:17:58,080 --> 00:17:59,360 You should put that in your set. 614 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,520 I don't really have room. 615 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,000 So make room. 616 00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,800 In fact, you could do awhole routine about sandals 617 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,880 or tunics and belts. 618 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,080 What about them? 619 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,000 Well, you know, just taking them down, 620 00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,840 finally, bloody belts. 621 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:14,080 Oh, yeah, I mean, I could dosomething about like how if you 622 00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,200 tie your belt in a bow, thenit looks like you've been 623 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:17,160 gift-wrapped, does it? 624 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,480 Yes, ha! 625 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,280 That is-- it's a bit surreal but hilarious. 626 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,960 OK, well, the preview went well. 627 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,800 So maybe I can build on it. 628 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:26,360 Thanks, bae. 629 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:27,240 You're so cute. 630 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:28,160 [music playing] 631 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,800 [laughs] Knock them dead. 632 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,920 [music playing] 633 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,880 [chatter] 634 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:35,800 - Hello. - And-- 635 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,080 - --welcome-- - --to-- 636 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,400 - --cabaret-- - --night. 637 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:39,360 - We-- - --are-- 638 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,960 - --your-- - --house-- 639 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:42,040 --band-- 640 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,000 BOTH: Gemini! 641 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,480 [chatter] 642 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,920 [strumming lute] 643 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,880 [chatter] 644 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,840 [blowing flute] 645 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,800 [flute and lute playing] 646 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:00,840 What are you doing? 647 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:01,720 Jason! 648 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,480 [flute and lute playing] 649 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,440 Hi, Marcus. 650 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,240 Oh, hi, you're back again? 651 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,160 [scoffs] Of course, where else can I get 652 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:10,240 top-notch satire and gossip about 653 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,800 my neighbors at the same time. 654 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,240 Ooh, oh, no, that wasn't about me. 655 00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:16,720 Oh, so are you not dating Minerva then. 656 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:17,640 No, I am. 657 00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,240 Uh, that bit was true. 658 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,360 But, yeah, the other stuff was just jokes. 659 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:22,280 It's all invented. 660 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,640 She's so inventive. 661 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:25,960 Right, yeah, well, I look forward to seeing 662 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,480 what she invents tonight then. 663 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,480 Well, me too. 664 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:29,680 [laughter] 665 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:32,840 [FLUTE AND LUTE CONTINUES PLAYING] 666 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,680 [groans] You're not the frontman. 667 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,160 [flute and lute playing] 668 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,880 Thank you, my name is Jason. 669 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,040 And I am Gemini. 670 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,600 And now, get ready to whoop itup for the marvelous Minerva! 671 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:49,800 [crowd cheering] 672 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:50,920 That was not the deal, bud, at all. 673 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:51,880 [crowd cheering] 674 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,320 Hello, the Crown and Toga. 675 00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,320 Great to be back, yes. 676 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,640 [crowd cheering] 677 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,440 Wow, so you seem like a good crowd, perky, 678 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,320 upfront, ready for action. 679 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,000 Pretty much the opposite of my boyfriend's penis. 680 00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,400 [laughter] 681 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,480 I get it, sometimes a penis just won't behave. 682 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,480 But what I don't get is why thatmeans everything has to grind 683 00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:14,840 to a halt for both of us. 684 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,520 [laughter] 685 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,120 Yeah, I know, it's-- it's likewhen a child gets knocked out 686 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:21,960 of a game, and it takes upthe ball goes, well, if I'm no 687 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,120 play playing, then nobody is. 688 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,000 [flute and lute playing] 689 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,320 [laughter] 690 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:26,280 Sorry, what's happening? 691 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,880 [flute and lute playing] 692 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,800 Wait, am I being censoredhere? is that what's happening? 693 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,160 Oh, OK, so this is fun. 694 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,280 [flute and lute playing] 695 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,600 Over there, ladies and gentlemen, 696 00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:36,080 that's Mr. Droopy Dick. 697 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:37,120 [laughter] 698 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,560 And he wanted me to come on stage 699 00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,720 and talk about fucking sandals. 700 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,080 [flute and lute playing] 701 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,680 This is the patriarchy trying to shut me up. 702 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,160 No, no, no, this is not the patriarchy, OK? 703 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,560 It's just a guy who'd preferhis privates were kept private. 704 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:51,520 Oh, it's satire, Marcus, deal with that. 705 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:53,040 Oh, it is satire, is it? 706 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,120 OK, well, let's see if youcan deal with some satire 707 00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:56,080 of your own, shall we? - Oh, yeah, well-- 708 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:57,680 [laughter] --give it a go. 709 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,040 Have you ever noticed, whenyou're going out with a girl, 710 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,480 and she's got one or two wonky teeth-- 711 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:02,760 [crowd groaning] 712 00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:04,040 --and a-- a big weird mole on her back. 713 00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:05,680 It's a bit niche, Marcus. 714 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,080 OK, uh, what about when yourgirlfriend's got a big bush? 715 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,680 I mean, anything would seem big in comparison 716 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:10,640 to the size of your penis. 717 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,960 [laughter] 718 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:14,560 Thank you, I've been Minerva. 719 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,960 But please, give it up for Marcus. 720 00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,760 [crowd booing and applauding] 721 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:20,000 CROWD: Chauvinist pig! 722 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,200 CROWD: Topple the patriarchy. 723 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:23,760 Come on, she started it.CROWD: Get off! 724 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:24,640 Get off! - Oh! 725 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:25,680 [grunts] 726 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,040 Security, Davus, do something. 727 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,320 Well, I'm security? 728 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:29,600 You're fired me. [crowd booing] 729 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,160 Well, can I rehire you? [crowd shouting] 730 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,160 Immediately! 731 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,120 Oh, it will cost you double. 732 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,400 Yes, fine. [crowd shouting] 733 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:35,560 [glass shatters] 734 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:36,560 All right, you can be the frontman. 735 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,560 [screaming] 736 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:38,680 [crowd shouting] 737 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,000 [SINGING] Shaky, I'm a shaky man. 738 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:42,200 I shake it at your brother. 739 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:43,400 And I shake it at your gran. 740 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:44,640 I shake it over here. 741 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,200 And I shake it over there. 742 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,200 And if you're not careful,I'll shake it in your head. 743 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:49,840 I'm a shaky man. [rattling] 744 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:50,720 Yes! 745 00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,160 [rattling] 746 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,440 [music playing] 747 00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:55,560 Right, who wants to see me turn 748 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:56,760 my knob into a beef burger? 749 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:57,280 [MUSIC - OLI JULIAN, "I CAME, I SAW"] 750 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,120 Do, uh! 751 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:01,360 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 752 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,360 Give me today. 753 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,920 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. 754 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,120 Give me a pardon. 755 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,280 Ah, ah, I came, I saw, I conquered. 756 00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,520 I came, I saw, I conquered. 757 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,640 I came, I saw, I conquered. 758 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,120 Can I conquer you? 759 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,640 I got to believe. 760 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,040 I came, I saw, I conquered. 761 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,440 I came, I saw, I conquered. 762 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:24,520 I came, I saw, I conquered. 763 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,040 Can I conquer you? 764 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:26,920 Oh, yeah. 765 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:29,400 Can I conquer you?